Archive for the ‘ nostalgia ’ Category

Rite of Passage

Rite of Passage

This is exactly how I felt through four years of my undergraduate classes!


P.S. I did program one game at the end :)


A Walk To Remember

As I sat here today, on an idle Sunday, I can’t help reminisce on the memories of the last weekend. Warm sun, cool breeze, the path, the scenery and the company…  the hike from Nalinchowk to Nagarkot.

the trek

Imagine the experience of jumping for the ground and somehow landing on water… I seem to be a walking accident these days… but it only added to the fun. Or when I was almost dragged atop a cliff by Kumar and Shankar… beautiful moments.

the big splash

The company… Gaurav, Kumar and Shankar… my friends since college days. College days – occasional turmoil in both personal and academic life amidst the carefree times of bunking the class and basking in the sun… and the ‘window shopping’, of course ;) . However the most amazing part is, all these years and nothing has changed – except for the bunking part (which has been reduced to 5-10 minutes at the office canteen).

dil chahata hai

Kumar getting frequently upset at minor things, and Gaurav doing his best to push him over the edge (well not literally),… me doing my best to irritate Gaurav with my ‘philosophies’… and Shankar, well, he was being Shankar – reading everyone and everything around him. Bottom line – you guys rock!

And the wonderful Sushmita with her thousand watt smile, who was sweet enough to laugh at all my stupid jokes… remember the “Na Lin Chowk” joke – Gaurav was staring at me like I was a raving idiot. Perhaps I was… but hey, if I can’t be myself with you guys where can I be! (ok, I think I just admitted that I’m an idiot… anyway… moving on…) It was her first hiking and she surprised us all when she finally conjure up enough courage to scale the Nagarkot tower. She was frozen scared when she first got to the top.

some village girl... from USA ;)

Well, gorgeous, thanks for the wonderful company which made the 5 hrs journey feel like 5 minutes… too bad you had to return home with a headache :(   …hope my stupid jokes weren’t responsible ;)

a walk to remember

All in all, a day I’ll remember for a long time to come. It was beautiful coz it was spontaneous… kinda like this picture where a good shot was almost ruined by an unwelcome guest!

21 + 1

My Eyes Are Jealous Of My Heart

My eyes are jealous of my heart.

It’s amazing how a single thing can mean various things to various people. Maybe that’s why poetry is so beautiful; it’s written for you. It’s the symbolism in it that makes it so vague and yet so familiar. When Pink Floyd sang “The rain fell slow down on all the roofs of uncertainty; I thought of you and years of all the sadness fell away from me”, or when Jagjit Singh wrote “Hum lavon se kehena paaye unse haal-e-dil kabhi, aur woh samjhe nahi ye khamosi kya cheez hai”, or when a friend of mine said the line “My eyes are jealous of my heart”, I knew what they were talking about.

Then again, when I think about it, it’s most likely that I possibly can’t understand what made them choose those words. But it’s not about what the lines meant to them. It’s about what it means to me. How I relate with each of those lines. Those lines were mine. A gift – from them to me. And I’ll forever be thankful for the lines.


(This is my dedication to those lines)

Who are you?
Why do i feel this?
I’m scared;
I try to hide,
The hurt that’s inside.
I can’t do it again;
Walked that line once,
Felt the pain.

You call me from somewhere.
I want to answer,
But do I dare?
My senses are numb,
But I can hear.
Still, how can I?
how can i forget the tears?
The fear
It’s still there,
Forever to stay.
You take me back
To the rainy day,
The sunset and the stars;
A few days of laughter,
Then a lifetime of scars.

You tell me it’ll be different;
You encourage me to have faith.
Faith in love,
Rising above,
The heartaches of the past.
The power of believing,
My heart rejoices in this new feeling.
I sense a new start,
I wonder if it’s real.
My silly heart’s sings in joy,
My cynical eyes just can’t feel.
My heart sees a happy ending,
But my eyes see us being apart.
Burned, tourmented and scarred,
My eyes are, forever, jealous of my heart.

When There's Something Inside.. .. .. Write!

You should write. Even if you have nothing to tell anyone, even if it’s nothing new. Write to remember. Write to tell yourself how you felt. Not the events but the feelings. Not the memories but emotions. Coz the memories will stay with you but the emotions will change their shape and direction faster then the clouds in a windy day.
When I look back through the pages of my diary what intrigues me most is not the events that happened but how each of them made me feel. Coz only that tells me who I have been and who I am now… how I have changed, and no matter what happens, how I’ll always remain the same.

The Countdown

For the past few days I was desparately trying to find some time so that I can jot down a few words here……….. and now that I got the time, all I’ve managed to do is to stare at the screen for last 4 minutes. I’m trying to start with an important event; but who is to say which event in our life is more important than any other. Before I lose the point of all this, lets start somehwere.
Lets start with the countdown. It all started when I began counting my days left at IOE for a personal interest of mine. I had started at 58, and today, when it’s 46, it has already become a new class-sensation. Pretty soon it’ll be 1 and then 0.
I have a very simple way of judging the outcome of any event; I ask myself that if this outcome was offered to me at the beginning, would I have taken it. I ask myself this today and I don’t like the answer. My life at IOE, at this point feels more like a compromise than a triumph. Actually this comes to me as a surprise too. It’s not that I’m not greatful; coz I am; it’s just that I’m not satisfied. I see some loose ends and it bothers me. I was avoiding them coz I wasn’t sure if I could face the facts. I don’t feel like I can continue like this any more.
When I leave this college I don’t want to walk away knowing there was something I could’ve done and I didn’t. I learned a long time ago that in life you regret more about the things you didn’t do rather than about the things you did. I want to walk away with memories, pictures, friendships, phone numbers, email addresses, (perhaps few people’s dotpens and scales); but no complains and regrets.
So I got 45 days – 45 days to take care of those loose ends………. 45 days to find some sort of closure or continuity………. and 45 days to create memories that will remain with me my whole lifetime.

A Perfect Day

Despite of all the changes in plans this turned out to be one of the best days I’ve had in long-long time……… After weeks of planning and canceling I finally met her. I met her at Maitidevi……. we then walked all the way to New Baneshwor. We had some pizza and c-momo at ND’s. We roamed around New Baneshwor for a while and then back towards Maitidevi……… through longest route possible of course. We both had a lot to talk about …………. apparantly, she more than I. She talked a lot…………. thank god nothing changed there. By the way her college seems to be really amazing……….. everyone seems to get hooked up.
I think it was the first time we walked the streets of New Baneshwor together after the days at the Xaviers. I had missed that. To be honest I had been imagining this day for a while now. But it was different. I guess you can’t plan perfection.
She is still the same wonderful girl – honest, caring, stronger than steel – fragile than a rose. I had many reunions lately………….. Met many old friends………….. But there was always something missing…….. Something old that wasn’t there anymore………. Something friendly, familiar – Lost. But the moment I saw her face beaming with her ever present smile, I recognized my old friend……… Who was still there…………. My friend – Who would always be there.